


Poisoned Coffee

by never_love_a_wild_thing



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Humor, Liam Has a Crush, M/M, Meet-Cute, Misunderstandings, Theo has a crush, Uber
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-30 00:39:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14484912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/never_love_a_wild_thing/pseuds/never_love_a_wild_thing
Summary: Liam's Uber driver is either a serial killer or really bad at flirting, and he ends up in his truck more often than he probably should. But hey, at least this Theo guy is hot!Liam tapped a finger on the ledge under the window, trying to think of something to say.“Have you ever killed a man?” he blurted out suddenly, surprising himself with the bluntness.Theo was silent for an uncomfortably long time, eyes fixed on the road ahead. After what seemed like ages and ages where Liam didn’t trust himself to speak again, even just to break the silence, Theo replied.“Not sure,” he said.Liam stared at him. What did that mean? Probably nothing good right? Probably Theo was a serial killer and oh god, why didn’t he ever listen to Stiles? And why did the only hot Uber driver he’d ever had have to be a serial killer?





	Poisoned Coffee

**Author's Note:**

  * For [maraudersourwolf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/maraudersourwolf/gifts).



> Thanks Maraudersourwolf for the prompt and Sofiaaaaa, SeaxWitch, and froyboy for all the ideas :) I hope I did it justice and this isn't too much of a mess! (I don't know how to write short fics!)
> 
> Enjoy!

It was raining. Pouring, actually. Liam had just about made the decision to stay in bed and skip class when Mason called.

“Dude, you’re not skipping,” was the first thing he heard when he answered the call.

“But – “

“No. We have a presentation today. I’m not doing it alone,” Mason informed him.

“Fine,” Liam groaned, rolling out of bed on his way to the bathroom, “Can you pick me up on your way? It’s raining.”

“I’m already on campus, but you could take the bus,” Mason suggested.

“The last three times I took the bus, it skipped my stop and I ended up riding around town for hours,” he complained.

“Then get an Uber,” he could practically hear Mason rolling his eyes, “I’ll see you in half an hour, okay?”

“Okay,” Liam sighed.

 

He waited outside of his building, just under the roof of the small porch. It was a little weird, Liam thought, that his driver was supposedly driving a four-door pickup truck, but he supposed in towns like Beacon Hills, even Uber sometimes just had to take what they could get. Anyways, all he needed was a ride to school that wasn’t the city bus. He wasn’t going to get too picky about what his Uber was driving.

A silver truck pulled up exactly at the estimated time, and Liam sprinted through the raindrops to poke his head through the open window. “Who are you here to pick up?” he asked.

“Liam Dunbar,” the guy said, a smirk pulling up at the corner of his mouth.

_Yes_ , Liam thought, _I finally got a hot Uber driver. I’m so telling Mason about this!_ He was exactly Liam’s type, a beautiful face with a light layer of stubble and gorgeous multicolored eyes. More green than anything, Liam supposed. He wore a plain t-shirt, but Liam could just tell that he had some really nice muscles hidden underneath.

“…Is that you?” the guy asked, looking amused. Liam nodded vigorously and tried not to blush when he realized that he had just been caught staring. He pulled open the door and flung himself into the truck, sighing as he shook the rain off of himself.

“BHU?” the guy asked. Theo, Liam was pretty sure his name was.

“Uh… yeah,” Liam tore his eyes away from the strong arms that corded with flexing muscles as the steering wheel turned them back into the driving lane and looked at Theo’s face. That wasn’t much less pretty. He smiled. “You must drive students to campus a lot, huh?”

“Mostly from campus, actually,” he corrected, eyes fixed on the road.

“Oh,” Liam said, nodding a few times into the silence. That wasn’t weird, right? He thought for a second about Stiles and how he would have already jumped out of the car in paranoia. He had definitely been spending too much time with Stiles.

“What do you study there?” Theo asked.

“History,” Liam replied quickly, “I – uh – I’m a history major.”

“Nice,” Theo smiled. A real smile. A nice smile. “I took a class on the history of organized crime in America once. It was pretty boring though.”

Liam glanced at him. “It sounds pretty cool,” he tried.

Theo shrugged. “I guess I’m more of a biology guy,” he said.

Liam shivered involuntarily. “I could never deal with the dissections.”

“Huh.” He watched the road in silence for a minute or two. “I guess they never really bothered me that much…”

  _Way_ too much time with Stiles. Liam looked out the window, relieved to find that they were already turning onto campus. Sure, this Theo guy was hot. Like, _really_ hot. Like he could definitely get it…if he wasn’t kind of giving off serial killer vibes…

“We’re here,” Theo announced, putting the car into park, but leaving the engine running. “Did you need a ride back later too? It’s supposed to start thundering around noon.”

“Uh, no,” Liam said quickly, undoing his seatbelt, “Nope. I’m getting a ride from a friend. Thanks, though.”

“See you around, Liam,” Theo smirked as he slid out of the high cab of the truck to the wet pavement below.

“Uh. Yeah,” he waved lamely and hurried off towards the library as the silver truck pulled away from the curb.

 

“I thought they were supposed to drive sedans,” Mason frowned.

“Yeah, I know. But he was driving a truck.”

“Weird,” Mason commented.

“He just kept talking about biology and organized crime – “

“Less weird,” he assured Liam, “Dude, I’m sure he’s totally normal. You need to stop hanging out with Stiles so much.”

Liam sighed. “You’re right,” he agreed, “He was really hot, though.”

“Yeah?” Mason asked, interested.

“Who was really hot?” Corey’s books dropped onto the table and he fell into the seat next to Mason.

“My Uber driver,” Liam told him, “He had these arm that were just – “

Mason listened willingly as Liam waxed poetic about his slightly creepy Uber driver, and Corey, unnoticed by Liam, looked on thoughtfully.

 

It was a week later before Liam worked up the nerve to get an Uber again. He couldn’t be sure, obviously, that Theo would be his driver again or that he was even a serial killer, honestly. Mason had mostly convinced him otherwise, but Liam still thought he was a little weird.

This time, Scott and Stiles were throwing a party at their apartment across town. Liam had had to work later than everyone else, which kind of sucked, especially since it meant he had to show up alone. Not even being close friends with upperclassmen made that less awkward.

Still, it wasn’t as much of a surprise as it maybe should have been when he checked to see who would be picking him up and saw a picture of Theo’s pretty face. He smiled to himself, dragging a leather jacket over his black t-shirt, pocketing his phone, wallet, and keys, and triple checking his hair in the mirror before deciding he was ready to go.

The silver truck was already waiting outside of his building when he tripped down the steps, smiling at Theo through the window before hopping up into the seat.

“Hey,” he said pleasantly, deciding firmly that he wasn’t going to let himself get creeped out again for no reason.

“Hey,” Theo looked him over, “You look nice.”

“Thanks,” Liam felt himself blush a little, “My friends are having a party.”

“Sounds fun,” Theo said easily, sliding back into the lane of traffic, eyes flickering between Liam and the road more often than was probably safe. “Are a lot of people going?”

“Yeah, Sciles parties get pretty crazy,” Liam told him happily. He looked at Theo’s profile, heavily contoured in street lights and shadows. “What do you do on Saturday nights?”

“I drive people to parties,” Theo shrugged, not sounding particularly bothered by it, but not very excited about it either.

He didn’t seem to want to elaborate, so Liam tapped a finger on the ledge under the window, trying to think of something to say.

“Have you ever killed a man?” he blurted out suddenly, surprising himself with the bluntness.

Theo was silent for an uncomfortably long time, eyes fixed on the road ahead. After what seemed like ages and ages where Liam didn’t trust himself to speak again, even just to break the silence, Theo replied.

“Not sure,” he said.

Liam stared at him. _What_ did that _mean_? Probably nothing good right? Probably Theo _was_ a serial killer and oh god, why didn’t he ever listen to Stiles? And _why_ did the only hot Uber driver he’d ever had have to be a serial killer?

“Uh…” he said intelligently, “You know what? You can let me out here, I can walk…”

“You paid for an Uber, didn’t you?” Theo asked calmly, “Don’t be an idiot.”

Liam reached for the door handle as they came to a red light and pulled. Locked. He looked at Theo.

“Can you unlock the door?” he asked, carefully.

The light changed and they continued through the intersection.

“Not safe,” Theo replied.

_Great,_ Liam thought, _I’m going to die. I’m going to be murdered by my Uber driver and dropped in a hole somewhere. I should report him._ He glanced at Theo, who was running a hand through his hair to push it out of his face while the other arm flexed, holding tight to the steering wheel. _Shit. He’s so pretty, though._ He supposed that was how serial killers usually caught their victims, but that really didn’t change the fact that Theo made his already slightly-too-tight pants suffocatingly tight.

But before he really had enough time to work himself up into a panic or something else of a completely different nature, the truck was slowing to a stop just outside of Scott and Stiles’s building. He looked at Theo in surprise, who looked back at him like nothing had happened.

“Have fun at your party,” he said, pressing the button to unlock Liam’s door.

“Yeah. Thanks.” Liam scrambled out the door and took off towards his friends’ house.

“And don’t forget to rate me this time!” Theo shouted out the window after him.

 

“Dude!” he panted at Mason as soon as he found him, mixing a new drink in the kitchen, “I totally think Theo’s a serial killer.”

“Theo?” Corey asked.

“My Uber driver,” Liam reminded him. Corey rolled his eyes, but grinned, looking thoroughly entertained. Liam looked at Mason again. “He told me he doesn’t know if he’s killed a man!”

Corey snorted loudly, and Mason frowned.

“And how exactly did this come up in conversation?” Mason asked, “No, wait. Let me get a very strong drink and then we’ll go sit somewhere, because maybe then I can understand how your weird-ass brain works.”

“It just kind of came out!” Liam defended himself, “I didn’t mean to say it!”

Once the three of them were in possession of alcoholic beverages and all the facts, Mason said, “Why don’t you just write a review, then? Like, ‘dude’s hot, but I’m not 100% sure he won’t murder me’.”

Liam thought about it. “Yeah, okay,” he agreed, pulling out his phone, “How high should I rate him?”

“How hot is he again?” Mason asked.

“Like, _really_ hot,” Liam said, looking at Mason earnestly.

“Give him three stars,” he suggested.

Liam set about writing his review while Mason and Corey bickered lightheartedly about how weird Corey thought Mason’s friends were, which was a pretty common theme with them. Not that Liam could really argue when Scott and Stiles were standing on the dining room table, arms slung around each other’s’ shoulders as they drunkenly serenaded each other with _You’ve Got a Friend in Me_ from Toy Story.

“Why don’t we hang out with your friends tomorrow, then?” Mason asked, “You’re getting lunch with them, right?”

“Yeah…” Corey said slowly, “Okay. Hey, Liam, why don’t you come too?”

“Me?” Liam tore his eyes away from the ridiculous performance in front of him and looked at Corey. “Why?”

“ I want to set you up with one of my friends,” Corey grinned.

Liam groaned, trying not to let himself be disappointed at the thought of anyone besides his possible serial killer Uber driver. “I would say no just because of that, but unfortunately you have great taste in guys,” he told Corey, who grinned in satisfaction, just before being hug-tackled by Mason.

 

Theo found himself at the same address late the next morning, waiting at the curb for Liam. He probably could have used his morning better, but it was Liam. The kid was a little awkward, but in a cute way. _And_ he was ridiculously hot. Also, according to his review he had apparently decided that Theo was a serial killer, which…he supposed if he really squinted, he could see how Liam had gotten there. It was hardly his fault that Liam went around asking people if they had ever killed anyone, but it had been kind of fun to watch him squirm when Theo said he wasn’t sure.

Usually, Liam was waiting for him when he came to pick him up, but this time Theo had to wait a good seven minutes before Liam stumbled down the front steps, hair damp, in different clothes from the night before, wincing at the sunlight.

“Morning Sleeping Beauty!” he said cheerfully as Liam climbed into his car, “There’s coffee in the cupholder if you want.”

Liam eyed the to-go cup suspiciously and Theo hid his smile as he pulled away from the curb. “I’m good,” Liam decided.

“Suit yourself,” Theo shrugged. Liam sat tensely in his seat. “How was the party?” Theo continued after a moment of silence.

“It was fine. It was good.”

Theo sighed. As fun as it was to put Liam on edge like this, he had a feeling if he pushed it too far, he would never see him again. And Theo wanted to see him again. Many times. Preferably outside the context of being his Uber driver. “I’m not a serial killer, Liam,” he said.

“Which is something that all serial killers probably say,” Liam retorted, flipping down the sun visor.

Theo popped open the overhead sunglasses compartment and handed Liam a pair. He felt him hesitate to take them and spared him a glance before looking back to the road. “What, do you think I poisoned them too?”

The hangover seemed to win out, because Liam snatched the glasses from him, pushing them onto his face and sinking back into his seat. “I asked if you’ve ever killed someone and you said you didn’t know,” Liam pointed out.

“Because I work part time in a medical clinic and it’s impossible to be sure that I didn’t at least have a hand in someone’s death?” Theo explained, “And who even asks people that, anyways?”

“You said you liked biology and dissecting things!” Liam tried again.

“Yeah. It’s interesting. That’s why I’m in med school,” Theo laughed in surprise. He glanced over for another look at Liam’s handsome face contorted into a confused frown.

 “But – you said organized crime was boring,” he said, dismayed. Grasping at straws.

“Because it is. And that professor was at least a hundred years old,” Theo confirmed.

“Professor Jacobs?” He questioned, looking mildly interested now.

“Yeah, have you had him?” Theo glanced at him again momentarily.

“I’m pretty sure he fell asleep during his own lecture last semester,” Liam smiled a little. He looked at Theo. “You’re not a serial killer?”

“Not a serial killer,” Theo agreed, still very much amused.

“So what’s with the coffee?” Liam asked as Theo pulled up outside of his building.

“I knew you would be hungover,” Theo shrugged. If Liam had assumed that coffee meant Theo was trying to kill him, then he was definitely doing a terrible job of flirting.

“Oh…” Liam looked from the coffee to him and then picked up the coffee. “Thanks.”

“Sure,” Theo smiled at him.

“Uh…I’m meeting friends for lunch. See you around, I guess?” Liam asked, hand on the door handle.

“Yeah, see you.”

Theo watched as Liam hopped out of the truck and let himself into his building, carrying the cup of coffee and still wearing Theo’s sunglasses. He smiled to himself and pulled back into the driving lane.

 

“Hey, so I invited someone for you to hang out with so no leaving early this time, okay?” Corey accosted him as he met up with him outside the diner.

“Yeah, whatever,” Theo said, “Do I get to meet your boyfriend this time?”

“And his best friend. Who I’m setting you up with. So be nice.”

“I’m always nice,” he said unconvincingly.

“And yet you managed to convince Mason’s best friend that you’re a serial killer,” Corey said dryly.

“I – what?”

“Hey Mason!” Corey waved to someone behind Theo. He turned to look and couldn’t stop himself from grinning widely.

“Hey Liam,” he said, ignoring Corey’s very self-satisfied expression in favor of looking over Liam’s slightly-tidier appearance than when he had dropped him off. Theo’s sunglasses were clipped to the V in his t-shirt, but Liam made no move to give them back.

“You – are friends with Corey,” he looked wildly between Corey and Theo. “He’s not a serial killer?” he asked Corey.

“No,” Corey snorted, hugging Mason in close, “He’s who I wanted to set you up with. Liam Dunbar, Theo Raeken. Theo Raeken, Liam Dunbar. Now please stop tell me about how you want to lick each other’s muscles.”

“I never said that!” Liam squeaked, face pink as he looked back at Theo. “So you’re seriously just…weird?”

“No, just seriously bad at flirting,” Corey said, sounding far too entertained by this.

Theo glared at him.

“You were trying to flirt with me?” Liam asked.

“ _Yes_ , dumbass,” Theo groaned, “Thanks for catching up.”

“Oh, I’m _so_ sorry,” Liam said sarcastically, “Hey, it’s not like you did a great job flirting anyways.”

“I bought you coffee!” he exclaimed.

“Which I thought was poisoned!” Liam reminded him.

“Yeah, because you’re an idiot!”

They grinned at each other.

“Can I buy you lunch?” Liam blurted out.

“Sure,” Theo smiled, following Liam inside.

 

“They’re made for each other,” Mason said in Corey’s ear as they watched Liam and Theo bicker over the menu.

“It’s terrifying,” Corey agreed.


End file.
